The parody of the cowherd and Weaver girl Chapter 1

[1] Literally little white face, meaning effeminate man

[2] Literally idiotic men, complaining/ resentful women, meaning pining lovers who usually for whatever reason cannot get married.

Chapter 1

The 7th day of the 7th Lunar month, the most painful day of the Cowherd's life. In order to beautify the story, the people who recorded the story of the Cowherd and Weaver girl purposely left out a fact - the Cowherd had acrophobia. (This is perfectly understandable, the Cowherd came from a family who had been farmers for generations, his feet have never left the ground. The moment he stepped up, it was not hard to feel lonely at the top.)

Actually, the cowherd did not want to go to heaven with Weaver girl. Everything was alright, why would he want to snatch a wife from the ruling class? The problem was, the moment Weaver girl left, the original tiled roof house would become a broken thatched cottage. Also, the Queen Mother did not even compensate the cowherd for the loss of time in his youth and neither did she give payments to support the two children.

While walking, cowherd suddenly remembered that he still owes the landlord Lao Cai Zhou a few pounds of flour. The moment Weaver girl leaves, a very important part of the productive force is gone. He did not know how many months or years it would take for him to repay his debt, so gritting his teeth, he lovingly and desperately called out, " Wife, I need you, don't go!" Putting on his leather shoe, he chased her to heaven.

Later, on Earth, when cowherd carefully pondered over his words, he wondered: At that time, why didn't I call out, "Wife, don't go, you cannot leave me!"? Later on, many years later this sentence became the culprit as to why the historians recorded the Cowherd as a [1] Xiao Bai Lian (Little white face). Not to mention the source of a lot of gossip, but well, in the end cowherd's phrase was only worth 10 pounds of flour. Even without the " I love you" in the speech, it moved the people of heaven and Earth (Alas, people with no experience in love are all so easily deceived.) and they all went on a collective strike to plead the Jade Emperor to allow them to be together. The Jade Emperor was also moved, this was the first time everyone on heaven and Earth was so united. Even Bi Ma Weng (old horse assistant??? Idk?) whose whole body emitted the smell of smoke had to wipe away his monkey tears, as the Emperor, how can he not be better than a mokey? Anyway heaven is sparsely populated, even with an additional Bi Nu Weng (old cow assistant???) it would not cause any problems. Just when he was going to approve cowherd's immigration applications, the Queen Mother spoke up.

Queen Mother was also a bit regretful, originally everyone in heaven has agreed to bring the Weaver girl back. She had to suffer so much in order to show off her immortal manners (To keep up her elegant act in front of the humans) and was bound to this painful life, even investing a huge amount in the gold hairpin on her head. This is great, she was already in this state and now the Jade Emperor has to oblige. No, this cannot happen, whether they are together or not is already a small matter, as the Queen Mother she had her dignity and thus, decided to disapprove of the Cowherd's immigration.

Sorry for the interruption, anyway, what I want to say is that me twisting the story of the Cowherd and Weaver girl so badly is not because of any strange reason but because the Jade Emperor henpecked. Afterwards, it was said that the Jade Emperor could not stand to see Weaver girl brimming with tears everyday and took advantage of the Queen Mother's good mood to persuade her. At that time, it just so happened that the Queen Mother was worrying that lately, the cloth woven by Weaver girl had a salty odour and thus allowed them to meet up once a year. (At that time, the Cowherd still did not know that he had a phobia of heights, otherwise he would have risked his life to protect his dignity while sacrificing his love.)

Yes, after beating around the bush for so long, all I want to do is to give all those "Cowherds and Weaver girls" in the future who get married a foreshadowing. At the same time tell all those [2] pining lovers who make promises with beautiful expectations under the moonlight of the 7th day of the 7th lunar month: Amongst all of you, why are there still some that break up? Keke :)